A very angry post…

Right, so something happened this weekend that has made me want to write a slightly ranty post. And by ‘ranty’, I mean a very angry post!!

I’m not a big drinker, I don’t go out very often so when I do, I do love to have a shop in the day time and get all dolled up ready for a good night out. So Saturday came along and it was my friend’s birthday and she gathered her friends together for a night out in town.

I love a good dance when I am out so we got to small place in town where there was a dancefloor. It was pretty crowded in there but we all danced anyway. Now I know that when you are dancing you get the occasional elbow in the back and a shove – when someone has decided to do a full on slut drop right behind you when there is no room to turn around – never mind stick your ass out and drop to the floor!

I felt a grab to the back and turned around and there was a boy trying to dance with me. I said “No thank you”, and carried on dancing. He did it again this time trying to have a grope, I said politely “No thank you” and gave him a shove away. And then he came to me again trying to grope me and said “Why are you in a club if you don’t wanna be touched?”

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

I mean, seriously, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise walking in this club allowed you to grope me and it be OK. My bad..

Just because someone is out in a club does not mean it gives anyone the right to touch them without their permission. You would not do it in a shop – I hope! – so why do you think it is OK to do it here? Just because people have had a drink? Just because it’s busy so no one can see? It’s not acceptable so back the bloody hell off!

I don’t want my daughter or my sister – or anyone – growing up thinking that is OK. That is not OK. That is so not OK.

Even if you are single, it doesn’t make it OK for anyone to touch you if you don’t want them to.

To be fair, the security were pretty good in this place and they saw what happened and they gave him a warning. But I know this might happen to girls and boys everywhere and if I was giving Violet advice when she is older, it would be to go get security and tell someone straight away. Don’t just stand there and think it is normal. Because it isn’t. It isn’t right. If someone came up to you in the street and did that, it would be wrong and just because you’re out at night does not make any difference.

I hope no one else has experienced this but…unfortunately I bet they have. And it isn’t right 😦

Rant over.

OurSweetViolet xo

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

When are you having another baby?

People ask me and Glenn quite often when or if we will have another child. I’m not telling any fibs when I say that the idea of a second child is wonderful. Being a family of four sounds so lovely. Having a little tot crawling around the house and having baby cuddles with.

However, I always wonder whether I could handle it. Not as in the sleepless nights, dirty nappies or the fact my boobs will triple in size and leak about a gallon of milk when someone pushes past me in a queue (even though that is a very valid point on its own!) Or the fact that you have to do about 10 ten washes a day, or the £700 nursery bills…going off track a bit here….But mentally, am I ready? Will I ever be ready? 

There are so many questions that I want answered first. Could what happened to Vi happen to the next child? What if it does? Do I have to have a c-section again? What if my epidural goes wrong again? How will I be able to cope with two children and be poorly myself? What if I get ill again? What if I don’t get better as quickly as I did last time?

16142819_10158115955715261_8131706910581404116_n

So a little message to Vi…

If you are ever reading this when you are older and you haven’t had a brother or sister, it isn’t because your Mum doesn’t want you to be big sister – it is because your Mum is so scared. Scared that something so small will break her heart again. Scared that something she loves so much will make her cry like she has never cried before. Scared of the future.

But Vi my little love, you may have broke my heart but you also mended it with extra strength super glue and made it stronger and better. You may of made me cry a river but you certainly have taught me to smile and laugh in a whole new way. And Vi you have made me see that the future isn’t anything to be scared of, it is something to be ready for. Not everyday is going to be a doddle but having the people you love around you sure makes you prepared for anything the future may have in store…

Love you with all my pieced-back-together heart.

Mum xx

My First Review! Miffy story book and colouring book.

Violet was a very lucky girl and has been sent some lovely books from Miffy.

Miffy is a little white rabbit who was first drawn by Dick Bruna in 1955. It all began when Dick Bruna would tell his eldest son bedtime stories about a little white rabbit who lived in the garden of their holiday home. This is how Miffy was ‘born’. She is meant to be uncomplicated and innocent, have a positive attitude and is always open to new experiences.

Enough about how Miffy was created, – more about these lovely books that Violet was sent!

When they first arrived, they took Violet’s interest straight away. The bright block colours and the big Miffy on the front. Violet recognised her straight away from her jumper that she has from H&M.

miffy2

Violet’s attention span isn’t the best so it does take a lot to keep her occupied for a long time – especially with books!

However, she did sit and listen as I read Miffy at the Playground – she is learning to read at the moment so the font size was good for her. She was able to pick out the words she knew.

miffy1

The colouring book was what she loved the most! A lot of colouring books we have lots of intricate detail and my little Vi doesn’t have the patience faffing around with colouring in individual toes and each individual hair of a bloody dog!! Anyway, these pictures in the colouring book were lovely and clear. Lots of space so not too overwhelming for a little one.

miffy3

Glenn and I were so pleased with these lovely books. She has been busy telling everyone about them and look at photos of Miffy online! Think we may have a little Miffy fan on our hands. (I haven’t long decorated her room so I’m kinda hoping she doesn’t find any Miffy wallpaper!!)

Hope everyone is having a good January!

OurSweetViolet xo

*DISCLAIMER: We were sent these books in exchange for a review. All thoughts are my own.

To My Sister,

To My Sister,

I remember Mum telling me she was expecting a baby. I was 10 years old and so excited to become a big sister (it had to be better than being a little sister!). Those months flew by so fast waiting for you to arrive and when you did, you were so cute and just a little noisy. Visiting you in hospital feels like yesterday, definitely not over 14 years ago!

Being a big sister was lovely, and still is – sometimes!

I see you now growing into such an independent and confident person. I watch you sometimes and can’t believe how grown up you are. When did that happen? Like seriously, where have these years gone? One minute you are crying at me to watch the Fimbles with you and then in the blink of an eye we are shopping together and gossiping over a cuppa whilst shopping with my little girl!

When I was your age, I was so insecure, constantly trying to follow the crowd. I think I was wearing Fred Perry jumpers and Stan Smiths on my feet. I cared so much about what everybody thought. You were four when I was 14 and you always would put a smile on my face. In your eyes, I was this amazing big sister and I loved that (obviously!) Sometimes I wouldn’t be happy if you had had your hands in my make up or make me sit and watch Balamory and play shops with you at the same time. But most of the time, you were so funny that you always had someone laughing. Unless you were in a temper when all hell broke loose. Not much has changed with your temper though – haha!

When I have seen you upset about things that have happened in school, it breaks my heart. I tell you that it will be OK and people will forget but I sympathise with you so much. I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but things will get better. You won’t be at school forever. You won’t feel like this forever. Promise.

When I go shopping with you, you buys clothes because you love them. Not because they are ‘in’, not because everyone else is wearing them, but because you like them and you know they will look good on you. I envy you so much with how much confidence you have at that age. And so you should. You are beautiful inside and out. (Again, apart from the tempers if you’re tired!)

You wear make up when you want to wear make up. And that is how it should be. I started to wear make up from like 12 and my skin has suffered terribly because of it but you have such lovely skin that you don’t need make up. You wear it every now and again if you go to parties but that is all – I am so jealous 😦

We fight pretty much all the time and we steal each other’s clothes almost every day but I think that is what having a Sister is like most of the time. Whatever I say to you when i’m naggy, I never mean it. Please remember that.

I am so grateful that I have you in Violet’s life, as Violet’s Auntie, as my Sister and my best friend. You are an incredible role model for her and for me. We have been through a lot in the past few years especially with Violet and I being poorly but you have always been there. Even if we just watch a movie and eat rubbish food – you were there.

If Violet becomes even half the girl you are today, I will be one proud Mum. Just like I feel proud to be your Sister.

Carry on being amazing. Wear what you wanna wear, do what you wanna do, say what you wanna say (within reason you little madam!). We love you so much,

Livvy x

OurSweetViolet xo

Diary of an imperfect mum

How my man popped the question & other great moments of 2016..

As if it is 2017 in just a few days.

Where has 2016 gone? I cannot believe how quickly time is passing. When growing up a year would seem like such a long time but now I am older, it flashes past in an instant. Slow down please!

20161216_083217

2016 has been an incredible year. Truly amazing. Here are a few of my major highlights from 2016:

1.Getting ENGAGED! In February 2016 my man popped down on one knee on the top a hill in Lake Vyrnwy. It was so beautiful but unfortunately not that romantic at first as I had previously been in one hell of a mood on the journey there. We had spent the day in Porthmadog, which is my favourite place ever, and then on the way home Glenn said he wanted to pop past him Mum’s field because they needed help with something. It was pissing down outside and I was not a happy bunny. New white converses + a field full of sheep shit = raged Olivia!

He somehow managed to get me out the car and I carried Violet up the hill. Wondering why the hell his Mum and Dad had planned to do work on a field in the middle of February in the pouring rain, I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was all a trap to get me to see the beautiful views of Lake Vyrnwy and to turn around to find Glenn down on one knee asking me – moody, naggy, pain in the ass – Olivia to be his wife. What the f…!? HELL YES! Then followed by me apologising a lot that I had been so mean. Violet wondered what the hell was going on but it was so lovely for her to be there. It was perfect.

Still haven’t forgiven him for ruining my new shoes though – Glenn, if you’re reading this I’m a size 5.

20161209_221840

2. Violet starting Primary School. *sobs* I’m happy but sad happy. My baby girl is no longer my baby girl. She is four. Four whole years old. When Vi was a baby and in Alder Hey, I never thought that this would happen. I would stay up crying and worrying about what life was going to be like for her.

Four years on and I still question why all those things happened to my girl and I don’t think I will ever fully understand or believe that it ‘just happens’.

I used to think it was all bad that happened to Vi, which it was absolutely awful, but she is proof you can be so strong, so fearless and so incredible. Whenever I am having a bad day, feeling unwell, I sit and think of my little darling bundled up in her hospital gown on that hospital bed. If my 9 day old love can go through brain surgery and four years later ride her scooter and sing Away in a Manger today, you can do anything.

20160906_080512

3. New job! I started in my new job at a hospital in the IT Department in January 2016 and I am still here 12 months later and bagged a promotion in those months too. I’m working towards some more qualifications which will all be done before the wedding.

Accepting the new job last year was the best thing I ever did. The people I work with are so lovely and so helpful. They really push me to do better and teach me new things every day. I might get on their nerves sometimes when I create an angel on the wall with my face on top BUT they are all so funny and I’m grateful to work with such wonderful people.

4. Started my blog! It’s been a few months since I started my blog and I have loved every minute of it. I have loved reading other blogs, meeting new people and hearing their stories and getting so many lovely recipes and home ideas! The best thing about blogging is when someone writes something and in your head you say “OMG I thought I was the only person who ever thought that!!” – that is such a surreal feeling!!

These next few blog posts will more than likely be about the wedding which is SO close now it is so friggin scary. I have so much to do but such little time..

20161225_105015

Many other amazing things happened like taking Violet to Disneyland Paris which was the most magical place ever! Two of my best friends married their partners and had the most beautiful weddings ever and they both looked gorgeous. Oh and to put a nice cherry on the cake, I am going to pick up a lovely new car this afternoon.

Anyway..I hope everyone has had an amazing 2016 and I hope your 2017 is just as incredible! I’m gonna be seeing in my New Year drinking lots of gin so my head might be hurting the first few days of 2017.

Lots of love,

OurSweetViolet xo

Mummuddlingthrough
Diary of an imperfect mum

My Christmas Spaceman Angel

Watching through my tear filled eyes I watched my little lady singing her heart out in the Nativity. The confidence and happiness in her eyes made tears fall down my face. Glenn, Glenn’s Mum and my Mum couldn’t stop staring at her.

I can’t believe my little baby, that same baby who only a few years ago had undergone brain surgery, was stood in front of all these people singing and dancing. All those nights up crying and worrying because I thought one day my Vi might not be able to do all these little things and yet there she was. Stood right in front of me, on stage, performing.

I know every parent is proud of their child watching them perform but I had no idea how much love and emotion I would feel watching her. I didn’t notice anyone else because I was watching her every move, I kept blubbing and I’m sure she thought there was something wrong! (I cannot believe I was one of those sobbing parents! I used to despise those when I would perform in the school plays!)

I recall grown ups saying that it never feels like Christmas until their child’s Nativity and I used to think they were crazy. But now I can completely understand what they mean. I was full of happiness and tears at the same time. I was well and truly ready for Christmas after that Nativity – but my bank balance and stress levels were definitely not ready.

At the beginning of 2016, Violet wasn’t saying many words or stringing any sentences together. We were all beginning to be a little concerned at how the hydrocephalus may of affected her growing up. The doctors of Alder Hey and in Shropshire were absolutely fantastic, I cannot praise them enough. She was quickly referred to speech therapy at the age of 2 and then in April 2016 she was offered sessions twice a week in a speech and language school. We couldn’t believe how much she came along in her speech from just being there for a whole term. It was brilliant – and now she is answering us back all the live long day!

When she started full time school in September, I think she took a few steps back the first week or so. She was very shy, emotional, tired and exhausted from the change in her routine but now she loves school! And the teachers are so good at encouraging her and helping her along with her speech. Violet did try some time at a bigger school but the setting just didn’t suit her, so she is now in a small village school which she really enjoys.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take any photos of Violet in her Nativity – which I understand the reasons why but it is such shame because I would of loved her to watch them back when she is older (and watch her cringe at them like I do at mine now!) I did however get this snap from the school today in Violet’s book bag which I have scanned in so apologies for the terrible quality (all creased because Vi thought it would be helpful to fold it up and hold it over her head to stop the rain landing on her hair – cheers Vi).

The costume held together well too which was a bonus! She may hate me for making her look like slightly like a Christmas spaceman angel but she is my Christmas spaceman angel. Don’t think I’m gonna apply for the Great British Sewing Bee anytime soon!

Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas!

vi-angel

OurSweetViolet xo

*Wedding Countdown*: 122 days to go! (and about 679 more things to do – crap)

 

Chill out Mum!

Why as parents do we torture ourselves over such simple things?

Yesterday I had a complete stress episode because my new bed was being delivered and I had to dismantle my old one. My other half is THE worst DIY man you will ever meet so it was up to me to take the bed down. Not only did I have to do this, but I also had to stitch up Violet’s Nativity costume (I now realise how much I took for granted the Vicar’s wife at my primary school who made about 20+ costumes for us and how annoyed she must of been when we would rip them accidentally my treading on the dangly bits of tinsel – MY BAD)

Anyway, so home I went to find Glenn trying to ‘smash up’ the old bed. Yes, my darling husband-to-be was trying to ‘smash up’ a bolted together metal bed with his bare hands. *Round of applause please*. So after that failed miserably, I got the alan key out and unscrewed the whole thing. Glenn then regained his macho status but carrying the parts downstairs. Well done babes..

I then zoomed off to my aunty’s house so she could stitch up Violet’s outfit at super speed on her sewing machine. Then went to collect Violet from my Dad’s house, back to mine to find my new King size bed had been delivered and my Mum and Stepdad trying to get the bloody thing upstairs. So I sat and watched them whilst sewing on tinsel to the bottom of Violet’s dress (the f**king needle kept being disguised by the f**king tinsel so I kept f**king stabbing myself!)

Fast forward an hour and a half and I’m lying down in my beautiful new bed, staring at the costume I have created but crying because I haven’t spent much time with Vi tonight. Made worse by the fact my hands were throbbing from all the stabs of the needle.

I really tortured myself. Looking through Instagram posts of everyone getting their advent calendars ready for their little ones in the morning. Then just to rub salt in the wound I started to stare at Vi and look at how beautiful she was sleeping.

Woke up this morning. Got dressed, got Vi ready, went to work and sat down. Looked back on the night before (If my boss is ready this – I was working hard at the same time!). Violet isn’t going to remember me not playing games with her for one night. She’s not going to look back on that night as the night that Mum looked at tinsel more than her. It’s not going to ruin her life.

She’s gonna be fine.

Whereas if I hadn’t made that costume, she would of gone to school with no costume and would of had to stand in her uniform whilst all the other children were dressed up ready to rehearse. And I would of then been crying last night because I hadn’t made her costume. I can’t win! So in hindsight, I wouldn’t of changed anything about the night before (apart from maybe wearing a bloody thimble).

Moral of the story: Just calm down Liv or in the words of Vi “chill out Mum”.

OurSweetViolet xo

img_2261-copy

Mummuddlingthrough